July 1, 2008

An Open Letter to Southfork...

This week is the perfect time to give in to my not-so-guilty pleasure.

I am just going to put it all out on the table...I am addicted to Dallas. Not the state in Texas, but the AMAZING and timeless classic that has been re-running on Soapnet for months.

Barret and I are heavily involved, as we have been watching since day 1 and we are now in the 13th and final season. we have witnessed every kidnapping, every single shoulder pad, gold lame` headband, and ALL of the rocks the size of the Sphinx they call engagement rings. We know that "Europe" is a magical place that people disappear to when their role on the show has played out. We have gone through the ups and downs of thirteen seasons and are dreading the bitter end of Ewing Oil, Southfork, and the under-the-covers shenanigans of JR. We are strangely close with the Ewing family and feel remarkably loyal to JR, Sue Ellen, Bobby and the beloved Miss Ellie.

The style, fashion and scenery are so awe-inspiring that we actually considered hitting a tour of Southfork for my bachelorette weekend. No, I am not kidding.

When I die, will someone please sprinkle my ashes at Southfork?

Here I give you just a glimpse into our world.....

JR Ewing holding a painting of the patriarch of the family, Jock. Jock died a few years ago, but has been kept alive through this painting. This painting has appeared in more episodes than most actors could ever dream of.

The most famous episode in television history is the one following JR's shooting. Whoever names the gunman first wins! (Barret, you don't count.)

JR is filled with quotes like "That man is lower than a snake's belly." and "I'm JR Ewing, I don't get ulcers, I give them!" He is a multi-faceted villain that you love to hate, or hate to love. You feel everything for this amazing man with eyebrows like the devil.

Can anyone guess how many times he has been married on the show?

Even when you explode on Dallas, like Pam, you still get to be in a few more episodes. (Until they figure out if you are going to Europe or not.)

Here is Priscilla Presley, the third actress to play Jenna, in one of her myriad of sweater dresses.

And, our favorite Ewing....Sue Ellen.

Linda Grey's wardrobe on this show has single-handily come close to wearing out the rewind button on our Tivo.

Sue Ellen, a former beauty queen and raging alcoholic, even showed up in her mug shot wearing a black and white color-block suit. The girl's got style.

Thank you Dallas. We love you. Maybe a little too much.


Barret Wertz said...

By far, the best post ever. I can never ever get enough Dallas. Ever.

syd said...

Yes, this post was inspired. Meg, you are MY Sue Ellen. You pull out the most amazing shit, you need an agent, a manager, a whole entourage! I love you woman.